With Hillary Clinton’s lead growing in the race for the Democratic nomination for president, the Sanders campaign has leaked a political bombshell: Secret Democratic National Committee (DNC) rules stipulate that superdelegate endorsements be decided by arm wrestling matches between leading candidates.
“At some point at the beginning of the campaign one of my interns made the shocking discovery that union endorsements would be decided by a standard-format arm wrestling match,” said an anonymous Sanders aide. “I was quite alarmed. Bernie is 74 and suffering from chronic osteoporosis. Hillary lifts and runs daily. To be frank, Bernie is lucky to have any superdelegates at this point.”
Speculating that all of this may have been inspired by the infamous coin-toss showdowns, the same Sanders aide also revealed that union endorsements have been decided in the same fashion.
Clinton’s camp declined to comment specifically, but released a prepared statement indicating that arm wrestling is preferable to the GOP practice of deciding corporate billionaire endorsements via underground “fight clubs.”
|*Organized Garlic is a satirical blog and a product of Labor 411.org. |
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